Living with Happiness
by ScarredMockingjay
Summary: Edward and Bella are FWB behind their friends backs. When Edward thinks Bella feels more for him than she's letting on he gets Alice to help him get Bella to admit her feelings. Human world, B/E other usual pairings. Rated M just in case for future chapters
1. Chapter 1

The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer

Song is from Breaking Benjamin, Give me a Sign

She was walking on the dirt path, the wind blowing in her face, leaves crunching beneath her feet. She thought about the conversation she'd had with Alice not too long before. Alice, her best friend, had reminded her how lonely she was, and how she should put herself out there, Bella and Alice are sophomores at the University of Texas (UT) and are roommates in an apartment off campus. Alice is a very energetic pixie, whereas Bella is shy, relaxed person that tends to keep to herself.

But Alice's claims were in no way false. Bella felt lonely thinking about her love life. The last time she had any type of relationship was her senior year of high school with Mike Newton. Things had been going great, until he started getting angry at her for no reason. They barely talked for a few weeks and scarcely saw each other. She amounted it to stress, considering he was the captain of the basketball team, and she was the head stage manager in the schools current play. But as time passed and the stress went away, they didn't revert back to their old ways, so they fought more and more, and eventually their relationship was official called over, and they still don't talk. He blamed her, and accused her of not trying hard enough, she didn't want to argue with him and just left things where they were. He went east to New York for college, she went south to Texas; both different places from their home in Forks, Washington. So she felt like a failure, like she couldn't hold a relationship with anyone, even after multiple of Alice's set-up blind dates, she felt worthless, and Alice's words were not helpful.

_Flashback_

"_Bella!_ _Will you just listen to me this last time. He's a great guy, you'll love him I'm sure." Alice whined._

"_No Alice, I already told you, I won't go on another blind date. Remember how all the last ones ended?" Bella responded, growing angry with her friend._

"_They weren't all bad…okay I accept one or two of them might have been. But they were way different with me so how was I supposed to know. And think about the rest of them, huh? What about Tyler and Ben? They were great to you!"_

"_Yeah too bad they met Clara and Angela while I was with them, and they left me for them!. Besides Alice, I already said no. I'm not going."_

"_You know Bella," Alice started very much frustrated at this point, "I'm doing this for you, because I see the sad look that flashes across your face when you see me with Jasper. I see the longing in your eyes and your heart; you want someone you can spend time with, someone that will love you, that you love in return."_

"_I don't know what you're talking about, I'm perfectly happy." Bella responded as she turned around to hide the tears that were threatening to fall._

"_No you're not Bella! Don't lie to me, I'm your best friend, I know you better than you know yourself." She responded exasperated. "But if you want to be miserable, then go ahead, but don't come crying to me about being lonely. Because at least I'm trying for you."_

_Bella felt horrible, she had lied to her best friend, and gotten her upset, but she couldn't stay there anymore, not while she knew that Alice was right. So she left, she walked out of the apartment, and walked to the nearby park._

_End flashback_

How could she have stayed really, it's not like she could tell Alice that she was secretly fooling around with her brother behind not only her, but also all of their friends backs. She couldn't admit to her how it had just begun as them meeting up to relieve some stress, and now she had fallen for him, but couldn't say or do anything about it.

Edward, a tall bronze-haired, green eyed god, and Bella met in her freshman year, when Edward decided to visit Alice and Jasper for Thanksgiving since none of them were going to be home for the holiday. Bella decided to stay at school as well to catch up on some work she had been neglecting. According to Alice, Edward was also studying at UT, and at that time had been a sophomore studying biology to then become a doctor; he rarely went out as he was always cooped up somewhere studying. During his visit, one night when Alice and Jasper went out on a date, the two of them stayed up late talking and watching a movie. One thing led to another and their agreement began. It's been almost a year since then, and she knew that her initial feelings for him had changed. She was in love with him, and knew that he didn't reciprocate the feelings, because in her mind how could someone as good-looking, and as smart as him possibly like someone as plain as her.

She had walked around the entire park and had even gone halfway around by the time she realized where she was. Ironically enough, Edward happened to live on the opposite side of the park from where she and Alice lived, and precisely a few feet from where she was standing. She didn't realize how she had gotten there, she hadn't thought about where she was going. But she knew why she was here. She needed someone to hold her, to make her feel safe and someone to talk to. Throughout the time of their agreement they had grown closer and we're now practically best friends, though Alice did not know this. Bella knew that Edward would hear her out, he had been there for her before and now it wouldn't be any different. But now she knew that he wouldn't and couldn't understand why she was making a big deal, because she couldn't tell him that she was in love with him.

She looked up at three story apartment building. She could see his window on the second floor, and the balcony that jutted out from the back door. She couldn't see him from where she was, but she knew he was there. Edward's voice drifted out of his open window, being December didn't mean it was cold in Texas. He voice carried the words of a song she knew well.

_No longer the lost, no longer the same_

_And I can see you starting to break_

_I'll keep you alive, If you show me the way_

_Forever- and ever the scars will remain_

This had been stuck in his head since he heard it in the car over a month ago and couldn't stop singing it. Not that she minded, she loved to hear his voice.

Bella sat on the steps on the side of the building that lead to the apartments of the second and third floors pondering whether to go up and bother him with her stupid problem, which she wouldn't be able to tell him about in its entirety; or go back to the park and walk the trail a few more times to let time pass so that she could go back to her apartment without having to worry about Alice being there. She sat and thought for minutes, some minutes passed she couldn't make up her mind. She was so focused on thinking and zoned out, that she didn't hear the footsteps that came up behind her, or the person that sat next to her on the steps. It wasn't until that person pulled her close to him with his arm around her waist that she realized what was going on. Edward was leaning on the brick wall, and had puller her close so that she was leaning on him. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to, he knew that she would tell him what was wrong when she was ready. She leaned closer to him, and breathed in his scent, and that's when she lost it. She started sobbing into his chest, she couldn't stop it, it had gotten to her, she couldn't keep things bottled in anymore. He held her tighter and rubbed his hands up and down her back in a comforting manner. After letting her cry for some time, he picked her up and carried her to his apartment. He sat on the couch with her on his lap and she continued to cry.

They sat like that for almost an hour, by which time Bella had fallen asleep in Edwards arms. He slowly picker her up again, walked to his room and set her on his bed. He knelt by the side of the bed to look at her, he couldn't fathom how beautiful she was, even though her eyes red and puffy from crying. He wished he could do something to ease her pain he hated to see her cry. After watching her for some time he got up and closed the door just enough so that he could hear if she woke up. He walked to the kitchen and pulled out a lime flavored seltzer bottle, opened it and started to drink it. He'd had a love for lemon flavored seltzer ever since Alice had picked one up by accident thinking it was lime flavored water. Now he kept a stock of them in his fridge.

He walked to his couch and thought back to the events of the afternoon. He had been singing again, thinking about her, Bella, his Bella. He had been doing some cleaning and had decided to take a break and walked out to his balcony. Looking down he saw the figure of a young woman looking at the ground defeated, he recognized her immediately as his Bella, but he knew something was wrong. He saw her move to towards the steps, and assumed that she was going to come up. He waited out by the balcony for the knocking he was sure was to come. But after waiting for a few minutes and no sounds coming, he walked over to the door and opened it to see what was wrong. He looked over the railing and saw her sitting there on the bottommost step. He knew something was wrong; otherwise she would have walked up. He went down, and when she made no move to show that she knew he was there he sat next to her. After she still didn't acknowledge him he looked and her and saw her look of concentration. He put his arm around her waist and puller her to him as he leaned on the wall. After a bit she started crying and he knew she needed him. He brought them up his apartment and sat with her on the couch. He relished this time with her because he got to hold her in his arms, but was heart-broken to see his girl crying without knowing why. He wanted to know so that he could make things right again for her. He sat on his couch frustrated about what was so wrong. He laid himself down and drifted off to sleep with Bella in his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer

Hours later Bella woke up. She looked around confused, not recognizing where she was. The bed felt too comfortable to be her own bed, and her room wasn't quite as neat or as manly as this room was. Staring straight across from the bed was a complicated stereo system, and on either side of the stereo were two large shelves filled with cd's, cassettes and long plays. She looked to the right, and found sliding doors to what she assumed to be the closet. She looked to her left and noticed two bookshelves filled with books and textbooks, in between the two shelves, was housed a metal desk with a glass top; the desk held a closed laptop and some textbooks on top. A black swivel chair sat in front of the desk turned so it faced the door, on the front right of the room. Bella noticed very little light coming into the room, and looked out the window situated above the desk, it was dark out. It dawned on her that she had been in this room before, but that it had been recently cleaned or redecorated. She was in Edward's bedroom. It took her some time to remember what had happened and how she had ended up here. She got up from the bed and walked to the door. Once by the door she could smell the aroma of something cooking in the kitchen. She followed the scent and found Edward standing in front of the counter next to the stove chopping up some vegetables. He had music playing and was singing along quietly. She assumed he kept the music low so as not to wake her.

She stood against the wall in the kitchen admiring Edward in what was another of his amazing talents. He turned and saw her standing there. She blushed thinking how she had gotten caught staring at her best friend. She sent her a friendly smile and walked over to her. He hugged her and looked at her straight in the eyes. She hadn't told him what was wrong before, and now she had slept for hours, he was worried about his friend, his love. She hugged him and back and whispered a soft thank you to him. When he stepped back she asked,

"Is there anything I can help with?"

"It's alright Bella, I got it. How was your nap?" He responded casually.

"It was great, thanks for taking care of me and letting me use your bed. By the way, how long was I out?"

"You know I'll always take care you Bells, and you were out for a few hours. It's practically dinner time. I'm almost done with dinner; I was hoping you'd wake up soon so I didn't have to eat by myself." He teased.

"Wow, dinner time already? I left nearly at 2 from my place. Hope Alice doesn't worry too much."

"Don't worry, she knows you're here. She's not sure how you ended up here, but she knows you're safe. And she told me to tell you that she's sorry. She shouldn't have pushed you so much and that you should make the decision when you're ready." Edward said without stopping his duty with the vegetables.

"She called?" Asked a very scared Bella, how was she going to explain her argument to Edward now, she couldn't quite come out and tell him the truth.

"No, I called her so she wouldn't worry. You had been out for a while and I didn't know how much longer you were going to be asleep, and I didn't want to wake you. You looked very peaceful." _Not to mention amazing as you slept on my bed_, added Edward internally. He had gone into his room to check on her after he woke from his nap. It was about 5:30 and he was starting to get hungry. He peeked into his room and saw an angel sleeping on his bed. She was curled up on her side, and her hair was spread out over his pillow. The blanket he had laid on her was falling off the bed, so he went in to tuck her in again. He was surprised when he caressed her face and she let out a low moan of appreciation, and his name fell from her lips. At first he thought he had awoken her, but when she didn't stir he realized she was dreaming. He stepped out of the room, perplexed as to why she had moaned out his name, and was very curious to find out. He called Alice and informed her that Bella was with him, but didn't get into the specifics of what had happened, or why she would be there. He sat and watched some tv, and after some time decided to start making dinner.

"Thank you, I really appreciate that Edward. You didn't have to; you should have woken me up ages ago. You probably have things to do without me coming here and crashing your day." Bella replied bashfully.

"Bells, it's okay, I was planning of having a lazy day today anyway. Now let's sit and have some dinner."

After they finished eating, and Bella helped Edward wash the dishes, they sat on the couch. Edward looked at her, trying to decide whether he wanted to ask her what was wrong, or to let her be the one to broach the subject first. They sat on his couch with the tv on. He set his feet on the coffee table and she was next to him. He reached around her and puller her close to him so that she could lean on him. He was hoping it would come off as a friendly gesture showing his support for her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, took in his scent, and sighed. She knew she was going to have to tell him something, and she also knew that he wasn't going to come out and ask her what had happened.

"I'm sorry." She started off.

"Why are you apologizing?" He questioned.

"Well, I show up at your apartment, unexpectedly, crying my eyes out. Then, I fall asleep for hours on your bed, I eat your food. And you don't ask me what wrong, and act as if this happens every day."

"Bella, you are my friend. I'm always going to take care of you. And I know that if you need or want to talk you'll open up to me when you are ready." He replied calmly.

"Well, I should tell you, not only because I absolutely trust you, but you also took care of me." She paused, sighed, and looked down at her lap before she continued. "Alice and I got into an argument about me not wanting to go on another blind date." She told him the conversation where Alice accused her of being jealous and lonely. "I got angry at her and we said some things we didn't mean. I stormed out of the apartment and started walking, and I ended up here." She finished quietly.  
"I see, did you try telling Alice why you didn't want to go on a date? I mean she might have a point about you being lonely." Then he cautiously added, "why haven't you been dating? I mean you probably have a line of guys asking you out." He said, wishing it wasn't true.

"Well..." she started hesitantly, she didn't know how to respond, she couldn't come out and tell him the truth, the she was in love with him. "I just want to pick someone myself, I don't like getting set up." She ended lamely.

"Hmmm...well why haven't you done that? You know it would get Alice off your back." He stated, getting angry at himself for even proposing that she go and ask someone else out.

"I just haven't wanted to, you know. I'm good how I am now." She replied. "I should go," she said as she stood up, "you probably have stuff to do." She started going for the door, she couldn't stay longer because she couldn't hide from him how she was feeling about him. "Thank you for everything Edward, I'll see you soon." She called from the door, not giving him any time to react or try and stop her. She flung the door open and ran out and down the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer

He sat feeling confused, one second she was there sitting next to him resting against him, and the next she was talking about leaving and was at the door. He didn't even get the chance to react or respond to her statements until she was out the door and down on first floor. He looked out the window to see where she had gone. He saw her retreating form running towards the park and in the direction of her apartment. As he watched her in the distance he knew what he had to do. He picked up his phone and dialed Alice, after a few rings she picked up with a quick, "Hello brother!"

"Hey Alice, listen, I wanted to let you know Bella just left here, and I assume she's on her way home."

"What do you mean assume? Did she not saying where she was going?" She interrupted.

"Well, she kinda just got up and ran out of here, let me know that she gets home safe." I said softly.

"Yeah sure, but why are you so concerned and worried over her Edward, I mean I know you guys are friends and all, but why are you so concerned with her safety all of a sudden. She's come home from a run at much later times than these and it hasn't mattered before."

He debated whether to trust her with his feelings and enlist her to help him, or rather try to do this on his own. Alice is Bella's best friend and knows her better than almost anyone else he thought to himself, her help could be useful. He went for it, she could at least find out Bella's feelings for him.

"I'm going to tell you Alice, but you have to promise me that you're going to do what I ask, and that you're not going to tell anyone, not even Jasper."

"What is it Edward"

"Well..." he paused nervously, "I think I'm falling for Bella, and I want to see if she'll give me a chance, if she even feels anything for me." I whispered into the phone. I had had a few girlfriends in the past, but I knew Bella was different. And I was afraid that I would fuck this up because of how we had started off.

"Alice, are you still there?" I asked after a period of silence.

"Yeah, I'm here, sorry I was just surprised by what you said. I mean I wasn't quite expecting that. I think you guys would be perfect for each other, but I know how you feel about my meddling so that's why I haven't said anything to either of you. But what can I do, how can I help she's mad at me for trying to set her up and meddling with her love life."

"I don't know yet, just let me know when she gets home, and I'll think up something. I'll call or text you tomorrow. Bye Alice."

"Okay, bye Edward."

Edward ended the call on his cell phone and wandered what his pixie of a sister was going to do. He knew that she was going to do some meddling even if he said no, so all he could do now was wait.

He didn't want to push her, but he texted Bella anyway.

_Hey, why did you leave so abruptly? Is everything okay? Was it something I said or did? Hope everything is okay. Text me back. Please. - E_

He sat down on the couch and waited for her response as he flipped the channels not focusing on anything in particular. He heard the alert on his phone signaling a text and checked it, hoping it was her.

_She's home, she looks upset, but not as upset as when she left earlier. She apologized for running out earlier. Asked what was wrong but she said it was nothing. - A_

_Thanks - Ed._ I replied.

I sat up and started thinking of something to do for Bella, to show her what she meant to me, but I was afraid she'd reject me, she had told me that she was the one that wanted to pick out who she dated, but I wondered if I could get Alice to make her a deal.

_Got an idea, lunch tomorrow? - Ed_

I sent to Alice, hopefully she'll help me out. After her response came, I changed into comfortable clothes and headed to bed. When I laid down I was engulfed in Bella's scent that had lingered on my bed and my pillows. I fell asleep with Bella in every one of my thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer

I ran all the way to my apartment across the park. When I got to my building I stopped, took a break and then walked up. I knew Alice was home since the lights were on in the apartment. I opened the door, and saw the back top of her head, just barely peeking over the back of the couch. She turned and kneeled on the couch looking in my direction as I walked in. The look of sadness on her face made me sad, I hated knowing that I had made her so upset.

"I'm sorry Alice, I'm sorry I ran out on you earlier. I was angry yes, but I was angry at myself, not at you. I know you're just trying to help me and it's me that has a problem." "Bella, you don't have to apologize. I shouldn't have yelled at you. And it is your life I can't force you to live it how I want you to. I'm sorry too."

"Oh, Alice, you don't have to apologize either."

We walked up to each other and hugged. She pulled back and looked at my face, I knew she saw something there when she asked if I was alright. I said I was fine off handedly and she knew not to push. I went to my room to get ready for a shower and head to bed. I was tired, even with the long nap I'd taken, and I didn't want to think about the day I'd just had.

I sat on my bed and thought back to my try home from Edwards. He had texted me, but I couldn't make myself text him back without letting on why I had left. I figured he wouldn't care if I didn't text back. I took a hot shower and jumped into bed. As much as I was hoping to have a good night's rest, all my thoughts had settled on Edward, and he was everywhere in my dreams that night.

I woke up tired and groggy after a restless sleep. In all my dreams I was fighting back my feelings for Edward. I looked at my phone and again I saw I had another text from Edward.

_I hope you're okay I didn't hear back from you but Alice says you're home. Please let me know if you're mad at me. Don't ignore me please. –E_

I felt so bad for ignoring him last night but I didn't want to let on how I felt, I couldn't ruin my friendship or my agreement with him.

_Sorry guess I was still tired when I got home. Sorry I ran out on you. You didn't do anything, it's all me don't worry. – B_

I got up and went to the kitchen, figuring Alice would already be out, she had an early class and I didn't have class 'til noon. I had cereal for breakfast not really in the mood to cook at the time and got ready for class. I figured I might as well head up to campus early to get work done there rather than mope around the house about my failure from the day before with Edward. I expected the many libraries to be packed since finals were a week away, so I went to where I knew would be less crowded. The LBJ library was the farthest one from the academic mall so it was usually empty. But I wasn't the only one who knew that so it shouldn't have come as a surprise when I saw a head of copper hair sitting at my favorite table. It was inevitable, we tended to study together anyway, I was just hoping to prolong the time before I had to face him.

I sat down in front of him without saying anything to see if maybe he was so engrossed in his studies that he wouldn't notice me. Luck was partially on my side. He glanced up when I sat down and sent me his crocked smile that I loved so much, and I felt him watch me until I sat down and got my stuff set-up. Once I was done I looked up to find me looking at me with an odd expression on his face, he shook his head, smiled at me again and went back to studying. He didn't have Monday classes so I knew he'd probably be here all day. After studying quietly for two hours, during which I would glance up at him every so often and trying not to watch him, I realized it was about time I headed to class. Not really feeling like carrying all my stuff to my one class I asked Edward,

"Hey, are you gonna be here for another couple of hours?"

"Hmmm, I have an errand to run at 1ish, but I'll be back after that, why did you need something?" He asked.

Curious about what errand he was running, but not wanting to pry I just said, "Oh no that's okay, I just didn't want to carry all my things to class but it's alright." Luckily I was already packed up and was able to make another quick escape after a fast goodbye. I looked back after walking a few feet, I saw him still looking at me, with the same odd look as before.

I texted Alice on my way to class to see if she wanted to meet up for lunch but was surprised to say that she was busy for lunch, and that we could meet up after her last class before going home. It felt lonely at that point walking down the long hill, no other students in the area, how I wished I had someone that loved me, that wanted to take care of me, and would make me feel special. It sucked that there already was someone who did make me feel that way but he didn't know that that's what I wanted from him. I longed to be with Edward in public, to be able to hold hands with him and be able to kiss him whenever I wanted, not just in the confines of his room, or mine whenever Alice was staying with Jasper.


	5. Chapter 5

The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer

I was sad to see her walk away from me. I had noticed her watching me while we sat there "studying" but I didn't let on that I saw her watching me. After the day before when she said my name in her sleep I wanted her to want me as badly as I wanted her. Yes, our escapades in the room were great, but they were never about us being together, but about being able to relieve some stress. I watched her for signs to see if she let something on. I did see her face fall when I told her I was running an errand, but I also saw a sign on curiosity, and that gave me hope.

About an hour later I left for my lunch with Alice, we were meeting at one of the dining halls on campus since Alice still had class and I wanted to keep studying. I texted her to let her know I was on my way, and made my way down the long hill. Once there I grabbed a salad for her, and a burger for myself, and picked a table away from prying ears, I didn't want someone else to know about what was going on. I texted her where I was and that I had her food. She found me a few minutes later and thanked me for her lunch.

"So, Edward, tell me what's going on. I have a feeling there's more to this than just you falling for her," started Alice after we had both finished eating.

Not knowing whether to tell her the whole truth because I didn't want her to be mad at Bella, but knowing that it would probably make things easier to explain, I gave in and told her the truth. "Please, first promise to hear it all out and not interrupt, and try not to get too mad. I can understand where you would be upset about what I'm going to tell you but try." I started. "Remember last year when I met Bella over Thanksgiving break and we stayed up all night talking, well that night we did more than talk. We were both single, and stressed out, that we came to an agreement to be there for the other when we were single to help relieve stress. That night we started fooling around and we're still kinda doing it. That's how she and I became close. We didn't tell anyone because we didn't think it would last. I was sure she would find someone she wanted to be with and drop me, but she's still coming to me. And we do more than just that, we also just sit and talk at times, and we've really gotten to know each other. I guess, along the way, I fell for her, and I wasn't supposed to, but I can't deny it anymore Alice. I think she feels the same way for me, but she won't admit it to herself. I need to woo her Alice, to show her how I really feel about then she'll give in to her feelings. But I need your help." It all just came out of me, and it felt good to be able to tell her. But the look on her face scared me. Alice's face was a bright red, and she looked angry and upset. I put my hand on top of hers on the table and waited for her to calm down and speak.

"Why didn't you guys tell me? I mean, I'm your sister, and I consider her my sister too, she knows that. I just can't accept that you guys would do something like that to me!"

"Alice, does it really matter that we didn't tell you, I mean both Bella and I are grown-ups, and we chose not to say anything because neither one of us expected this to turn into anything, now I'm about to change the situation on her, because I know she feels more. Please Alice, try to see this from our side."

"Fine, I'll ignore for now that you both betrayed my trust, but I will tell her that you told me about what's going on. I won't tell her your feelings, but I will tell her that I know. What's your plan to woo her anyway." She retorted angrily.

"Actually I think you telling her will be perfect. I want you try and convince her to go on one more blind date, and this time I will be her date. Tell her that I told you what's going on between us because it slipped out when I was asking you about something I wanted to do for another girl. This way, she'll get jealous that I'm chasing someone else, and as a retort to get back at me, she'll agree to this blind date. So we have to wait a few weeks and lay it on think that I'm chasing someone. After you tell her that you know I'll tell her that I told you and that she and I need to stop."

"I don't know Edward, after our fight this weekend, I doubt she'll agree to this blind date. And how do you know that that's how she'll react anyway. Why do you think she likes you back?"

""Don't worry about how I know Alice, just trust me, but please, at least try, it's not like it's gonna be for this weekend so she'll be over this by then."

"Fine," she replied, "but you need to make it up to me for lying to me and keeping such a huge secret. I was always hoping you guys would one day fall in love, you guys are perfect for each other, but I know better than to meddle when it comes to you and girls." She finished in a softer tone.

"Thanks Alice, I really hope it works out, she's such an amazing person."

After we finished out conversation I escorted my sister to her class. I was anxious to see Bella again especially after the plan we had just made, but I knew that if I saw her now I'd have to tell her about why I told Alice, so I figured I'd have to forego seeing her until she got a chance to talk to Alice. If she came to find me at my apartment again well it might set things up for more to happen. So I headed back home. I could study there just as well as here since I didn't have any classes.


	6. Chapter 6

The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer

so this story is actually taking a bit of an turn from what I had originally planned. But i'm liking the turn and I feel it will make for a better story. Hope you are are enjoying it. Reviews, comments, suggestions, requests are always welcome.

I went back to my spot in the library after my class. I didn't have another one today since it was the last week of classes and I had already handed in my paper for French Literature. I was hoping to see Edward again, even though he had me all confused because I wanted to be able to tell him how I felt, but I knew that I couldn't. After spending all afternoon alone nad undisturbed in my table at the library, it was time to go meet up with Alice. I was surprised Edward hadn't come back but I didn't know what errands he had to do, or what had come up. I drove home since Alice and I were going to a place down the block from our apartment to get food. Alice had been more or less cold most of the afternoon after her lunch plans, but I assumed it had to do with her classes, so I wasn't worried. When I walked into the apartment I was shocked. Alice was pacing back and forth in the tiny living room we had, and she looked absolutely pissed. Not knowing what had happened I chose to approach with caution. I set my stuff down by the door out of the way from my clumsy feet, and slowly walked up to Alice as I announced my presence.

"Hey Al, how was your day?"

"Don't you dare "Al" me, Bella, I can't believe you." She yelled back at me, not even returning my greeting.

Confused as to what I had done I said, "How could I what Alice? I don't know what you're mad about, but we can talk this out."

"I can't believe you're playing the innocent card Bella, I know all about it. I found about your little "agreement" with my brother!"

"How…how…how did you find out?" I managed to get out completely shocked that she knew about it. No one, and I mean no one knew nor was supposed to know about it other than Edward and myself. We hadn't even engaged in our sordid activity in a few weeks, both of us being too busy.

"It doesn't matter how I know Bella, what matters is that I found out, and that it wasn't from you. I thought I was your best friend Bella, I thought we were like sisters that shared everything. You know I tell you everything about Jasper. How could you?"

I was surprised that she wasn't mad at what had or was happening between her brother and me, but rather that I didn't tell her. It's true that we're as close as sisters, so I had no reason not to tell her other than it was her brother.

"I was afraid Alice, I know you and your brother are close, and I wasn't sure if it would be weird for you that I was just being with him when it was convenient for both of us. It's not something either one of us planned, but we figured it'd be just for a little while, I figured he'd get bored with me and find someone actually worth it. We never meant to hurt you, or anyone else. I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I just didn't want you to be mad at me for being with him like that."

After a long pause she said, "it just bothered me that you wouldn't trust me. You know that you can tell me anything, and while it may have bothered me at first I would have gotten over it after some time. Is he the reason?"

"The reason for what?" I asked, I was getting whiplash from the turns of this conversation.

"The reason why you don't date? I mean, how long has this been going between you guys, because you haven't dated anyone for over a year now, and you've only gone on a few of the dates I've tried to set you up with, is Edward the reason?"

I couldn't tell her the truth, I mean I probably should, but I couldn't tell her that I'd fallen in love with her brother, while all he wanted me for was a shag when he felt like it. I couldn't put myself out there, she might try to set me up with him, and that wouldn't be fair to him. I couldn't look her in the eye as I said, "What are you talking about, of course not. I mean yeah he's a great guy and friend, but he would never be interested in me, so I've tried not to delude myself too much."

"Hmmmm…I hope you're being honest with me Bella, I'm willing to let this go because I know you guys didn't do it to hurt me, but I'm not going to forget that easily. I'm gonna head to Jaspers. I need to relax a bit, and clam down. We'll talk tomorrow." And with that, she walked out the door and left me all alone.

After her comment I realized it had to have been Edward who told her, and I felt the anger start rising inside of me, how come he didn't tell me that he had told her. He must have known how mad she was, and he just left me to fend for myself. He was going to hear from me, no matter what errands or studying he was doing, I needed answers. Forgetting about getting food, I left the apartment, got in my car and drove around the park to his complex. I walked up the stairs to his door and pounded on it to make sure he knew I was angry. It didn't take him long to open the door dressed in just basketball shorts and socks. I momentarily forgot why I was there and that I was angry. But I quickly reminded myself, reached across the doorway and slapped him across the face.


	7. Chapter 7

**The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer**

**A/N Hey guys, sorry for the large delays between chapters. I just finished my semester and now i have finals so i've been busy but i promise i'm still writing**.

LWH

I was surprised that he didn't react at first, but after a few seconds, he looked shocked, and I could tell he was getting angry because his face started to turn red and his eyes were fierce.

"What the fuck! What the hell did I do that give you the damn right to come to my apartment and slap me!" He screamed at me, yup, he was pissed off.

"How dare you ask me that, you know exactly what you did. How could YOU! If you were planning on telling anyone you should have told me first! Did you not care about how this was going to affect me, or my relationship with my best friend and your sister! Did you not think that maybe I had the right to know that you were planning on telling anyone in the first place! It's my life too you know." I let out all the pent up rage I had on him. "You know what Edward, never mind. You obviously only care about yourself, because if you had cared about me and my feelings you would have talked to me first. I was stupid to think that there was more between us than just convenience. I don't want to see you again, it's better for both of us. I'll be polite when you're around for everyone's sake, but don't come looking for me, or call me again."

It hurt to tell him those things, but it was for the best. I felt so betrayed by him that I didn't care that he had become my best friend, I didn't care that I had fallen in love with him that I was going to hurt me to not be friends with him anymore, but how I could be friends with him if he betrayed me like that. How I believe anything he said anymore when he broke the one promise that we knew we could never break.

Not having even entered his apartment, I turned around and walked away back towards my car without even waiting for him to respond. Making my way to my car I didn't hear him come after me, until I felt his hand on my arm. He yanked me back and turned me around so I was facing him. I set my face to look angry and unfazed by what had just happened. The look in his eyes told me he was hurt but he was also angry, and as much as I wanted to take the hurt away I knew I couldn't because I had already made my choice.

"I said to leave me alone Edward, I don't want to see you, or talk to you." I tried to pull my arm out of his grasp.

"I'm not letting you leave like this. You need to hear me out first, I deserve to be heard, and you deserve the truth. And you are too angry to drive anywhere right now without endangering other people." He added a pleading, "please."

I didn't want to hear him out, I didn't care about what he had to say, he betrayed me, he could have told me before he went to run his "errand" that he was going to tell Alice, so why I should I hear him out now when he didn't even try to tell me earlier.

"No, Edward. You missed your chance and being heard when you betrayed me. When you told someone else without even thinking about how I would feel, without even trying to tell me first that you wanted to tell someone. This was just a way for you to get rid of me, and you got it. It's done, I'm out. You don't have to worry about hiding me anymore, you can be with whoever it is you want to be that gave you a reason to have to out us. Let me leave Edward, please." I had to put it all out there, I didn't care that tears started to fall from my eyes, and I didn't care that he saw how weak I felt, I needed to show him how he hurt me, so that he could feel some of the pain he inflicted on me.

"No Bella, you need to hear me out. I'll force you if I have to. Please, just come back upstairs with me. I promise this isn't what it seems."

"Hahahahahaha, this isn't what it seems! Really Edward, you want me to believe that!. No I'm not going anywhere with you anymore. I'm done with you Edward, I trusted you and you betrayed me. Good-bye Edward." I felt him loosen his hold on my arm, so I pulled it free and started running. I knew running home through the park at night was a bad idea, but Edward was right, I couldn't drive home in my current state. I'd have to come back for my car tomorrow, or maybe ask Alice to help me, though she'd probably say no at this point. I heard him call after me, but didn't hear him start running after me. I hoped I'd be able to make it back to the apartment before he showed up there.

Taking deep heaving breaths I made it my door. Not seeing Edward around I went in and locked it. Leaning on the door I slid to floor and started crying. I felt so alone in that moment. Alice hated me for having lied to her, I couldn't turn to Edward anymore since he was the one to make this what it had become, and because we had hid this from everyone there was no one I could turn to for help. I didn't notice time pass by as I sat there, but I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket multiple times. Not wanting anything from anyone I pulled it out of my pocket and without looking at who had been trying to reach me I turned it off. I walked to my room in a daze, fell on my bed and curled up in a ball hoping for two things. One that this miserable day had worn me out so much that I'd fall asleep quickly, and two that when I woke up this whole thing would have been a nightmare and not real.


	8. Chapter 8

The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer

The next few days passed by in a blur. I ignored Edward's texts and calls, and pretended that I wasn't home when he came around the apartment. I didn't want to hear him out at all. Alice and I weren't really on speaking terms at this point so it didn't really matter anyway. I got up got ready and head to campus to go to class and study glad that this was the last week of classes. That thought as happy as it made me, also made my stomach churn. Classes were almost done, meaning that I was going to have more time to be around. I wished now that I had accepted my parent's invitation to go with them away for Christmas on a cruise they had won in a sweepstakes, but now I was on my own in Austin. Alice would head to Houston with Jasper for some time and then to see her family. I had been invited of course, but I doubted I'd be welcome anymore.

The week ended, and brought about the stress of finals. She avoided her usual study places wanting to avoid Edward, and her apartment during times she knew Alice would be around not wanting to fight even more with the stress of finals on her. The weekend came and so did the plans that the group had made to go to a concert in San Antonio, to celebrate the end of the semester and to take a good break before the week of finals started. Her phone vibrated on her nightstand where it still sat from the night before when she went to bed. It was almost 11 and she didn't feel like getting up. She had lost all hope, Alice hated her, Edward betrayed her and she had lied to everyone else, so it didn't really matter anymore. She looked at her phone curious to see who it was that was trying to get in touch with her again, probably Edward since he hadn't really stopped trying to get to her. Even small things like, _I miss you_, made her heart hurt even more, but she didn't want to believe him. Why couldn't he have just talked to her first.

_Hey Bells, hope you're ready for the show tonight. Pick-up is at 6:30, getting dinner before the show. –Em_

Emmett, Alice's other brother who also lived in Austin, he worked as a phys. Ed teacher at a high school. It seemed like he had no idea what had happened this week, because he was acting as if nothing was a miss. Not knowing what to reply, she chose not to, until she got a text from Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend.

_Meeting at your apartment at 4, the three of us are getting ready together. PS I know you've been avoiding Alice, I don't know why but I do know that she's not mad at you. She's upset that you're ignoring her and is truly worried about you. Edward won't stop asking Emmett if you're coming out tonight, what happened? Should I be worried? – Rose_

Now I was confused. I was sure Alice was going to tell Rose and Emmett about what had happened, but they obviously didn't know. And Edward it seemed hadn't told them either. What was going on? I texted Rose back, figuring it was only fair.

_ It's a long story, maybe we'll have time and I'll tell you tonight. I feel bad for avoiding Alice I was sure she'd be livid so I figured I'd give her space. I'll text her now, I guess she's at Jaspers? – Bella_

Not mentioning Edward was probably the best idea, I didn't want to get into that now, I still had two more texts to send. I figured I'd get the harder one out of the way first.

_You can stop bothering your brother about tonight. I'm going, but only for their sakes. I meant what I said, I don't want to talk to you, but I'll be civil in front of them. It's not their fault we got caught up in a moment. – Bella._

_ I'm sorry I've been avoiding the apartment during the day. I figured you'd want me out of here after what happened. I never meant for you to find out like that, I wanted to be the person to tell me. Please forgive me, I miss my best friend. – Bella_

I hopped into the shower hoping that the water would wash away my nerves about tonight. I didn't want to see Edward again so soon, I didn't know how I was going to act around him with the anger and sadness that I had let build inside of me. By the time I was out of my shower I had gotten replies from everyone back. Rose was the safest bet so I checked hers first.

_Okay girl, everything will be fine, I promise. If we don't' get to the story tonight we can have a girls day tomorrow. See you later. – Rose_

Alice was next, I didn't want to see Edward pleading with me to hear him out, I wasn't sure how much longer the anger would win out against the longing I had to see him.

_I was mad Bella, but I get it. I promise I'm not mad anymore. I miss my best friend too. Can I come back now? I'd like to spend some time just us before we see everyone later. – Alice_

_ Yes! Please come home, this place feels kinda empty without you. – Bella_

Responding to Alice was easier that I thought. I really missed how I could be myself with her and not have to worry about anything. I checked my last new message.

_I just want to see you Bella, I was worried that you'd skip out on everyone because of me. I'd rather you go and me stay than the other way around. I won't go if you ask it of me. I miss you, all of you. – Ed_

As much as I wanted to ask him not to go, I knew I couldn't do that. We had both been looking forward to going to this concert. It was a small town band we had heard one night and we all fell in love with them.

_You can go, it's fine. I'll be there too. No reason we can't be civil to each other for one night. I'm sure I understand just what you miss Edward. But it seemed you didn't want it anymore when you told Alice. So don't tell me that. – Bella_

I was mad at him for telling me that he missed. He couldn't miss me, he was probably only missing my body, the only I was ever good enough for when it came to him.


	9. Chapter 9

The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer

By the time Alice and Rose showed up at the apartment I was finishing up a snack after having picked out three outfits that I thought Alice and Rose could agree on for tonight. I never got away with my first choice, but at lest they had learn to give me a choice when it came to picking my clothes. I was going for conservative and comfortable tonight considering the week I'd had and that I had no need to impress anyone. I didn't want Edward getting any ideas either. However, I don't think that really worked. Rose looked curiously between Alice and I while we made up and I rushed out another apology.

"Let's get ready first, and we if we have time before the guys come to pick us up I'll tell you what's going on. If we don't have time then I'll be fine tonight and we'll def have a girls night tomorrow." I said to Rose, feeling bad that she still didn't know what was going on, but it made it easier to act around I'm when less people knew.

The girls went easy on me, I guess Alice felt bad for the week I'd had, I think she realized that I'd fought with Edward by the look on my face whenever his name was brought up in conversation, but it's not like it could be avoided. They dressed my in dark skinny jeans, a sleeveless red V-necked shirt that scrunched bellow by boobs. They paired it with a black leather jacket and comfortable black boots. At first I was worried about the shirt, sine it enhanced and displayed some cleavage, but it was really a comfortable shirt and I felt good in it. Alice spent some time working on my hair while Rose finished getting ready while we chatted aimlessly. By the time we were ready, Emmett had texted Rose that they are outside waiting for us. With it being Jasper's turn to drive and be DD we were going to have to squish in the back of his car since we didn't really all fit.

We met the guys downstairs, I approached them last after locking up the door, ad I was forced to shake my head to clear it from the haze that was induced by seeing Edward. I was still mad at him, but I couldn't deny how good he looked in dark wash jeans and a button down gray shirt that was left open over a tight fitting dark blue t-shirt underneath. Emmett pulled me up in a hug Hello, and Jasper merely pulled me close for a one-armed hug. I felt that he knew something was going on, but then considering how close he and Alice were I assumed she had told him something of what had happened. I managed a monotone "Hello" to Edward from Jaspers side, and tired to ignore the look of sadness that crept over his face before he masked it. We piled into the car, luckily I was able to have Rose go in next to Edward on the back seat, followed by Alice, with me on the other side.

The ride to the venue wasn't bad, Emmett not sensing or perhaps ignoring the tension in the air between Edward and I kept up a jovial conversation getting everyone involved. I stayed pretty quiet throughout the ride and during the concert. Always keeping a distance between Edward and I, and only speaking when I absolutely had to. It was so difficult trying to ignore him because I had admitted to myself early on in the day that I missed him. Not in a physical sense, well not entirely, but in an emotional sense. I missed my best friend. I missed being able to text or call him when I wanted to talk because I knew he would be around. But I couldn't forget to feel the betrayal, he obviously only wanted me for the physical sense, that probably why he looked sad earlier, I justified to myself. I gave the other guys some type of physical contact but I didn't even go close to him. That's all he cared about, I reminded myself. It made the pain even worse I realized. He tried to approach multiple times but I managed to have to go to the bathroom and dragged Alice and/or Rose with me, or I started up conversation with someone else. I managed to avoid him most of the night, and I was proud of myself.

It wasn't until we were leaving that he managed to get to me. Rose and Emmett had gone out ahead of us, more drunk than the rest of us. Jasper was helping Alice walk, and that left that two of us. I felt his hand come around my wrist as he tried to get me to stop and talk to him. He pulled me back to him, and with sadness in his eyes he looked down at me,

"I can't stand this Bella. I can't stand us not talking. I miss you. Please will you hear me out."

"Let go of me Edward. No, I have nothing left to hear from you. I already told you, you gave up that chance when you told Alice before coming to me. And you don't miss me. Now, let me go." I yanked my wrist from his hand and ran out after Jasper, hoping to catch up to them before he caught up to me.

The ride home was quiet with Emmett asleep in the front passenger seat, and Alice and Rose sandwiched between Edward and I. I kept my face toward the window, being able to see Edwards reflection as he looked over at me. I couldn't let him see how hurt I was by what was going on between us. I didn't want to back down on this. He hurt me, he betrayed me, I wasn't going to just forgive and forget.

The next morning found me in the kitchen at 10am, making pancakes for Alice and Rose who were hung-over. After some coffee, aspiring, and over sweetened pancaked, I knew that it was time to tell Rose the truth she had been so amazing the night before working as a buffer between Edward and me, she needed to know the truth. And maybe, I thought, remembering my realization from the day before, I needed to tell them about how I was feeling about him. Maybe they could help me figure out what to do with my feelings.


	10. AN

Hey guys, I apologize that I haven't been posting in so long. I've had some stuff going on at my house with my family that has kept me rather busy.

I will be starting school again next week which is actually good because it will give me the space and time that I can use to keep writing.

Now, I'd like to thank everyone that has reviewed, they are really helpful in seeing what you guys think of the story.

I know it is a romance story but there's gotta be some conflict there first, I think they have to work towards getting their happy ending, which I do promise a happy ending, so please to all of you who are getting annoyed about how Bella's not giving Edward the chance to talk, wait it out a bit, I promise things do get better for them.

Chapter 10 should be up in a few days, hope you guys enjoy it!

Also, I have started a blog, where I pretty much just ramble about stuff, it has some Harry Potter and Hunger Games, I will probably do some Twilight rants as well, but I may also post sneak peaks or throw out ideas for coming chapters so if you guys are interested please check out the link on my profile. Thanks!

-ScarredMockingjay


	11. Chapter 10

The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer

I had failed miserably, and it was my entire fault. I was a coward and had let Alice tell Bella that I had outted us. I realized afterwards how she'd feel if it didn't come from me, but I was coward. I knew that I needed Alice's help to her back considering Bella wouldn't even acknowledge me anymore unless absolutely necessary. Last night, at the concert, it was pure torture having her so close, and look so good. I missed her body, we hadn't been together in over a few weeks now and I craved her. But I missed more than just her body. I missed our late night chats, the sounds of her laughter, her quirky comments and her compassion. I missed my best friend and I'd probably lost that too. It was so hard keeping my hands to myself with so many guys there checking her out, but it was harder not being able to just talk to her. She avoided every opportunity I got to talk to her, and I didn't know how to deal with that. When I finally got her right before we left and she repeated the same things she had said before I realized just how deeply I had hurt her, and that I was going to need a lot of help to get her back. I watched her hide her face from me the whole ride home. I had hope because I could tell how much it was hurting her to be this way with me.

The next morning I woke up with a plan. I figured since Rose had been playing buffer between us last night, then she probably knew what had happened or was going to be told today. I was going to tell the guys today, seeing it was only fair. Hoping that they wouldn't kick my ass first, I hoped they would help me get her back. Since Jasper hadn't been drinking the night before I knew he would be up and about soon, Emmett was another story. I had a two bedroom apartment, so Emmett had taken the bed in the spare room where I got work done, and Jasper was sprawled on my moss green couches that I had gotten at a garage sale. I walked slowly next to the couch so as to not wake Jasper up yet, and walked into my small kitchen. Not being as great a cook as Bella, I made the best I could. As I got the coffee maker going I looked the window in my kitchen to the balcony that was spread across the side of my apartment. I could see the pool was being cleaned. I wrote up a quick note letting the guys know I'd be back in a few. Grabbed my wallet from the ledge over the fireplace where I had placed it last night, put on a pair of rubber slippers from the hallway closet and walked out my apartment. I walked down the stairs and headed to the entrance to the complex. Next to us was a great breakfast burrito place that I absolutely loved. I went in and ordered half a dozen egg, cheese, and bacon burritos to go. As I waited I looked around and noticed how crowded it was. The guys behind the counter called me up, after I paid him I got my food and walked back to the apartment. During my walk I thought about how best to broach the subject with the guys. Walking back in my place, I heard the TV on meaning Jasper was awake, and some loud grumbling from the bathroom signifying a still drunk Emmett. After feeding them, I didn't have to bring up the Bella topic since they sprang it on me.

"So, what's going on with you and Bella man? Yesterday you guys weren't your usuaul. And Emmett here said you had been calling all day yesterday about whether Bella was still going on not." Jasper said after grabbing a stool and sitting on the breakfast bar at the end of my kitchen. Emmett sat next to him while I stayed in the kitchen leaning against the counter.

"Well, considering Alice knows, and Rose is probably being told and how you guys are going to find out eventually I might as well tell you. But please, promise to let me get the story out before either one of you interrupts or wants to beat me up. Okay?" I said knowing just how protective they were of Bella. After seeing them nod I started. "Well the truth is, Bella and I have been in a friends with benefits relationship for about a year now. And when I wanted to make it more and I went to Alice for help it kinda blew up in my face and now Bella's livid with me, and won't even talk to me." I rushed out the whole thing, keeping my head down in shame for having hurt her and in fear of what I would see in their eyes.

"What the hell man! That's so fucked up man! A year, a fucking year! And now you tell us?" Emmett yelled at me. I knew I deserved his anger.

"I'm angry at myself for letting it go on for so long with her, especially since I've wanted more with her since the beginning. I've liked her for so long, and I was hoping that over time she would come to like me too and things would shift in that direction but they haven't. And I needed Alice's help to get her to see me in a different light. And then I was a coward and now she's not even acknowledging me man! Yeah I fucked up, but I plan on fixing it. So get on with it. Hit me, I know you want you. I know you're pissed at me Emmett."

I stared him down waiting for him to come at me. But he never came; he just had a shocked look on his face, which was also mirrored by Jaspers. After a few minutes of silence, I turned around and started cleaning up the dishes from breakfast. It gave me a menial task to have to avoid the looks of shock on my friends' faces, and to distract myself from thoughts of despair at not getting Bella back.


	12. Chapter 11

**The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer**

**So I've written a lot int he past day, so I figured I'd thank you guys by posting more chapters now.**

**Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing particualrly cullengirl08, barbiedoll123, dazzled eyes 22.**

**Hopefully this chapter clears up some things for you guys!**

* * *

Rose looked at me expectantly across the small living room. Alice was sitting on the couch up against the wall, and was also looking at me, waiting for me to fess up to Rose.

"Edward and I had a friends with benefits relationship for about a year, until a couple of days ago." I said bluntly figuring it would be the easiest way to deal this out to Rose.

"What do you mean until a few days ago?"

Surprised that she started off with that I replied, "so you ignore the whole part where it lasted a year without anyone knowing about it, and you care more about it ending? I mean I appreciate you not going on at me about how I should have said something but it's just surprising."

"Yeah well I figured since you and Alice weren't talking for a while she must have already laid you on about it, and besides, you don't seem particularly happy that it's no longer going on. So what gives? Why and how did it end?"

"I ended it technically, when he told Alice about it without telling me or giving me a warning that he had told her, allowing me to be ambushed really." I said dejectedly. They could tell I was upset, but by Rose's confused look I could tell she didn't know why.

"Okay I get that you're pissed that he told Alice, but did you at least hear him out, and find out why he told Alice?" and now looking at Alice she said, "did you tell her why Edward told you? Have you tried to help in this at all?" I could tell Rose was getting pissed off too, and I didn't feel as alone as I thought I was.

"I felt betrayed, we weren't just fooling around, we had gotten really close, I knew that I could go to him for things, and I did a lot of times. He knows things about me and I know things about him that I don't think I've shared with other people, and it just hurt that he threw it all away like that. And because I was so angry I haven't "talked" to him since I slapped him."

"You slapped him?!" shrieked Alice from where she was sitting completely avoiding looking at Rose and answering the earlier statement.

"Well yeah! I was pissed off, you had were pissed off at me, and it was his fault." I finished.

"Relax, relax, both of you" interjected Rose. "Obviously there is more to this story than what you know Bella, and I think Alice can shed some light on that. Now obviously Edward came to you because you are his sister and I get that you want what's best for him, but maybe you should have dealt with this differently. Bella deserves to know why he told you without him telling her first, don't you think Alice?"

"Yes, Bella deserves to know, but it's not my place to tell her why. This is something they have to work out on their own." Alice replied back surprisingly relaxed, like she had just figured that out.

"It doesn't matter. As much as I may still care for him and want things back, I don't know that they can go back, or that they should. What he and I had, well it was good, but it also wasn't. The hiding, the secrecy, the 'no strings attached' deal, it's not what I want not anymore at least. And he doesn't what I want so it doesn't really matter."

"How do you know that not what he wants?" said Alice, giving me a sad look.

"Because the only reason I can see that he would go and talk to you about it is because he was trying to get out of our arrangement and was trying to let me down easy and knowing that you and I are best friends you'd help him break it to me. That obviously backfired, but he's free now so it doesn't really matter to him."

"Well it obviously matters to him otherwise he wouldn't be moping and groaning about it all the time, and he wouldn't be trying so hard to talk to you. So you gotta grow some balls and hear him out, and if you don't like what he has to say then fine, but at least let him tell you." Rose said with a tone of finality, and Alice shook her head in approval.

"You obviously care about him, and you said so yourself you don't want something like you had before, does he know that? Did you ever let on that you have feelings for him?" Alice asked.

"Whoa, who said I have feelings for him, I never said that!" I said panicked.

"Bella, please. Look at who you're talking to. We're not idiots okay. And maybe you don't want to admit to us, but at least admit it to yourself, you like Edward, that's why you are so mad about this whole thing, because you think he's found someone else and you don't want to let him go." Alice explained while staring me down.

I knew they were right, that's the part that sucked the most. That I had already admitted to myself how deeply I felt for Edward, but I was afraid to admit to anyone else. I was afraid how this could ruin my relationship with Alice and change the dynamic of the group, especially if I told Edward and he didn't reciprocate the feelings. They had a point though, I knew I had to let Edward explain himself to me, and I had to hear him out, then maybe I could get closure when he told me how things were going to change, and I could move on, if that was even possible.


End file.
